Friday, August 22, 2014
International Kallah
What is International Kallah? A question I asked myself as I got off the airplane in Newark airport. Well, Gavri told me to go, so I could explore my Judaism. Why did I need to explore my Judaism? I could be playing Jazz, or studying under Jeff Dunham, for all I knew! When would I EVER need to EXPLORE Judaism? I was satisfied with MY Judaism. I didn't NEED to be orthodox, and I didn't want to be! I never understood why that one guy wore Kippot everywhere, and really, it seemed... Silly. Wearing a little cloth hat everywhere? How could a cloth hat, and little strings at four corners of your body really make you feel so... Jewish? I had so many things, un-answered, and lingering feelings of awful homesickness. I wanted to be left alone, I didn't want any new friends, and I didn't want to be there. I met Ariel, and I met Carly, I even met this guy named Josh, who happened to be in my room. I didn't know why I felt this way. I knew Mom and Dad already had payed for this, and Dad would have a fit if I even SAID I wanted to come home. So, I figured I'd make the most of it if I had to. I set my stuff next to the bottom bunk, and set up my bed, on bottom of course. There was no ladder to get up to the top! But I laid down, and this kid comes in to the room and says, "Bro, you're going to have to move up top." Wait, WHAT?! I wanted to scream at him, because there was NO WAY I was moving to the top. Then this other kid comes in and says "Dude, his bed is already made, I'll move to the top" CRAP. I HATE LOOKING LIKE A DOUCHE. and so I replied "Naw, it's cool, I'll go up top." and so up I went. To this day, I still can't figure out how I got up and down every day. That kid on the bottom bunk, ended up becoming one of my best friends from kallah. I always made it a promise that I would have an instrument with me, just in case I needed it. I pulled out a tin whistle and played. I ended up sitting on it and breaking it, BY ACCIDENT, I WOULD NEVER IMAGINE HARMING A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT. So off to dinner I went. I tried to sit by myself, but people kept coming up to me, and trying to talk to me. Then... I met them. The three people who would make my Kallah experience just a little bit more meaningful. Eric Hunker, Kevin Sloan, and Happie Hoffman. They let me play clarinet with them, ANY TIME I wanted to. Seriously. They'd be jammin' and I'd join right in. It was so cool! But, I still didn't get why I was there. What even was the point of it? I had no fun until the evening program, when we let ourselves loose. we discussed what it meant to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true. I already had a sanctuary. I would pull out my clarinet, and play. THAT made me holy. Music is a big part of my religion. But, why is Judaism so special to me? Did I believe in G-d? What MADE me Jewish? Why did I pray, if I didn't think I was praying to, or for someone? How did I know? When did I know? But, really... Who was I Judaically? I didn't know if there was a G-d or not, I didn't ever think about it... For G-d's sake, what was that Parsha where Abraham bound Isaac to sacrifice him? Braisheet? Man, ,what would I do if I were in that situation... How do I explain Judaism to other faiths? How would I defend my homeland of Israel, when others would make some really good points? It isn't easy to stick to your guns. After 3 weeks of prayer, meditation, and programs that sometimes I found interesting, and sometimes I didn't, I finally knew. Judaism isn't about answers. It is about questions, if that makes any sense to you. I finally knew. I believe in G-d, I am a Jew who can PROUDLY wear a Kippah and eat a ham sandwich, I didn't know much, but I knew, that I was Jewish. It wasn't a dumb religion like that guy said, and I wasn't stupid for believing in a religion. Love thy neighbor as thyself. It was as simple as that. I started feeling holy! I started laughing, loving, and realizing that the world, doesn't revolve around me. It is hard to put in detail who I met, and who I learned the most about, and whose hookup I played clarinet for, even though I didn't see it happen, and that baby girl that I formed a connection with, and that one girl there who had the same connection. It's hard to explain kallah. What is Kallah exactly? Kallah is a place for you to find yourself, Kallah, is a place for you to find your Judaism. So what if I am not going to be Shomer Nagiah? So what if I wasn't and still am not kosher? I am Jewish, and I am full of questions. And you know what?!... I kinda like that.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Just write
Hello, Friends, Family, and Acquaintances!-
There's always stress in my life, but now it seems more so than usual. What does one DO to relieve stress, and what is the cause of such stress? Minus the fact that I'm a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY, for g-d's sake!! I am a hormonal explosion just WAITING to happen. The only way I can relieve hormones is when I gi... You don't want to know that, do you? (insert gratuitous sex joke here). What is stress, and what causes it? To me, stress is the feeling of paranoia, and anxiety, mixed into one. What, however causes that feeling? For me, several things.
Grades- It seems to people that I don't care about my grades. I will admit, I don't work as much as I could. but grades are stressful. especially when middle school didn't give me such good tools to use when studying. I will admit, like anything else, it takes time. But when you are impatient like I am, when you want something, you want it NOW, not later!
Written Music- I HATE WRITTEN MUSIC! Don't get me wrong, It is ESSENTIAL to musicianship, but REALLY? I can't STAND written music, especially written dixieland. Dixieland and Jazz in general, are supposed to be LIBERATING! You learn a head, and you make up backgrounds. THAT IS HOW JAZZ MUST WORK! It is MY NUMBER ONE Pet peeve when people WRITE DIXIELAND CHARTS! Musicals don't know how to write dixieland charts. They get the job, and the point across, it's just...YOU DON'T WRITE DIXIELAND IN THE KEY OF B MAJOR. I'M TALKING TO YOU, RALPH BURNS! If I could count the amount of times I play jazz/dixieland clarinet in a day, it'd be WELL in the 100's, or somewhere close to that. I will tell ya, I am a jazz purist. I believe in a 24 piece big band, a 3 horned dixie band, which means Clarinet, Trumpet, Trombone, and an OPTIONAL saxophone.
Girls- LONG LIPS, FINGERTIPS! Sorry, had to get the Motley Crue reference out the way early. I am NOT the type of guy girls would look over twice. But, I am the last guy to get in a relationship, and the first one to get dumped. The fact that I'm a ventriloquist doesn't help my case. Neither does my 4 year old snake. I have a four year old snake. She isn't even half way through her life yet. The quickest relationship I've ever been in... 8 seconds... NO LIE. THIS CHICK FREAKING STALKS ME FOR FIVE MONTHS AND THEN WHEN I ASK HER OUT, SHE SAYS YES, AND THEN BREAKS UP WITH ME 8 SECONDS LATER.
The Hate-I have an aching feeling that 5 people hate me. 2 have told me they don't, 2 might just be acting like brother figures, and I just don't know it, since I had no abusive brother figure in my life. and 1,,, she'sjust been a cold hearted female dog to me ever since the first day we met. she looks at me like I have four heads, like I'm the devil reincarnated. news for you, sister, you can't make me change
Social Life- I'm not going to try
That's it. That's all
Now, I'm going to go to bed, I guess. NIGHT AND SLEEP TIGHT
There's always stress in my life, but now it seems more so than usual. What does one DO to relieve stress, and what is the cause of such stress? Minus the fact that I'm a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY, for g-d's sake!! I am a hormonal explosion just WAITING to happen. The only way I can relieve hormones is when I gi... You don't want to know that, do you? (insert gratuitous sex joke here). What is stress, and what causes it? To me, stress is the feeling of paranoia, and anxiety, mixed into one. What, however causes that feeling? For me, several things.
- Grades
- Written Music
- Girls (of course!)
- The feeling that people hate me
- Social Life
Grades- It seems to people that I don't care about my grades. I will admit, I don't work as much as I could. but grades are stressful. especially when middle school didn't give me such good tools to use when studying. I will admit, like anything else, it takes time. But when you are impatient like I am, when you want something, you want it NOW, not later!
Written Music- I HATE WRITTEN MUSIC! Don't get me wrong, It is ESSENTIAL to musicianship, but REALLY? I can't STAND written music, especially written dixieland. Dixieland and Jazz in general, are supposed to be LIBERATING! You learn a head, and you make up backgrounds. THAT IS HOW JAZZ MUST WORK! It is MY NUMBER ONE Pet peeve when people WRITE DIXIELAND CHARTS! Musicals don't know how to write dixieland charts. They get the job, and the point across, it's just...YOU DON'T WRITE DIXIELAND IN THE KEY OF B MAJOR. I'M TALKING TO YOU, RALPH BURNS! If I could count the amount of times I play jazz/dixieland clarinet in a day, it'd be WELL in the 100's, or somewhere close to that. I will tell ya, I am a jazz purist. I believe in a 24 piece big band, a 3 horned dixie band, which means Clarinet, Trumpet, Trombone, and an OPTIONAL saxophone.
Girls- LONG LIPS, FINGERTIPS! Sorry, had to get the Motley Crue reference out the way early. I am NOT the type of guy girls would look over twice. But, I am the last guy to get in a relationship, and the first one to get dumped. The fact that I'm a ventriloquist doesn't help my case. Neither does my 4 year old snake. I have a four year old snake. She isn't even half way through her life yet. The quickest relationship I've ever been in... 8 seconds... NO LIE. THIS CHICK FREAKING STALKS ME FOR FIVE MONTHS AND THEN WHEN I ASK HER OUT, SHE SAYS YES, AND THEN BREAKS UP WITH ME 8 SECONDS LATER.
The Hate-I have an aching feeling that 5 people hate me. 2 have told me they don't, 2 might just be acting like brother figures, and I just don't know it, since I had no abusive brother figure in my life. and 1,,, she'sjust been a cold hearted female dog to me ever since the first day we met. she looks at me like I have four heads, like I'm the devil reincarnated. news for you, sister, you can't make me change
Social Life- I'm not going to try
That's it. That's all
Now, I'm going to go to bed, I guess. NIGHT AND SLEEP TIGHT
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